She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize