Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
