And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
