my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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