I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
