I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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