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  • 67 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:37pm

    if i received this tet from my bf i think my heart would melt. sad?

  • 58 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 11:08am

    "why can't we be friends, whyyy can't we be friendsss"

  • 65 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:00pm

    9:49 i live in nyc and you dont know what you talking about. Thats easy 4 u to say that nobody stops ppl from getting out of the ghetto. But the truth is that exept from phisical force EVERYTHING stops them to leave the ghetto.

  • 53 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 2:40am

    without the russians we would have lost. likewise applies though, if the russians didnt have us they'd be fucked. however, every other country in between was busy changing out their tampons while hitler was kicking ass. the issue today is the European countries hate all the privileges we have. jealous bastards

  • 54 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:28am

    12:35 the euros don't owe us, but to we'd be living under nazi america w/out russia is a bit much

  • 53 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:16am

    I loooooove this text! Probably because my boy is from MN and I was in Wisconsin for a trip a few months ago :)

  • 60 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:16pm

    shut up you fucking douchebags

  • 55 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:29pm

    yet you visit our websites to read about how much fun we had last night. if you hate us so much, then why do you care?

  • 53 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 11:41am

    11:23...nothing needs to br re-read. Facts are simple, europe is pretty much taken over by hitler in a matter of weeks... Britian almost, If it weren't for us. I'm sure your life is shitty in Europe cause it's a shit hole over there... But thank America everyday of your shitty life it isn't shittier..( cause it would have been)

  • 53 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 2:09am

    11:51 oh i get it, so when its anonymous you tell us you hate us but you wont say it to our faces, i wish i could be more like that

  • 51 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:06pm

    9:25-- oh please!!!! give me a break. you should take a lesson from 9:49. our concept of a "ghetto" is a far cry from what you seem to be referring to.

  • 57 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 12:48pm

    I'm born and raised in the US, and pretty much everything posted thus far in regards to WWII and the Revolutionary War only furthers the point that we a bunch of blithering uneducated morons. Happy Independence Day!

  • 52 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 6:55am

    5.59 maybe you're right but it goes both ways. "Your whole continent smells of piss" - do you think the person who posted that is basing this on actual knowledge?! (For the record I have been in 14 states on 5 visits to the states - enough to form an opinion)

  • 67 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 5:59am

    Everyone sucks. There are nasty people everywhere. I will call you a liar if you said you didn't know anyone who got freaky every once and a while, no matter what country they're from.

  • 53 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:32pm

    Thank you american soldiers for helping us Germans. bahahahaha... Americans were pussys in 2WW, you just make a good films about it but the truth is that without drunk crazy Russians from the east we would win.

  • 52 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:50pm

    Umm, Europe = cuntinent, tool, and weird

  • 52 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 11:50pm

    wow.. what about the french? they're ALL about being naked.

  • 59 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 11:56am

    hahaha yeah ofcourse the US troops saved our lives, and UK did almost nothing, and the Russians??? they just gave up, 'cuz they knew Americans can take care of everything because they are the best nation in the world. I live in Germany and i am lucky to be a millioner so please choke with your dirty humburger and dont teach me about good life, Auf wiedersehen fat ass.

  • 52 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:38pm

    um doesn't europe have a reputation for being much more open sexually that america?

  • 49 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:18pm

    oh no! a bunch of nazis think we're stupid & slutty

  • 50 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:51pm

    quick question. what reason does anyone in europe have to hate americans so much?

  • 55 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:47pm

    C'mon people. We americans are arrogant pricks who are mostly fat slutty slobs. And that's how we like it apperantly. So fuck 'em.

  • 47 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 10:51am

    It's funny that all these Europeans say they hate America... Cause if it wasn't for us stupid Americana, all u fucks would be living under hitlers regime. Next time your pussy as countrys ( that pull out of Iraq like a bunch of pussies u know who u are uk) get attacked, cause u will cause your a bunch of cunts, you'll be begging for america to rescue u.

  • 44 46
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 5:00am

    This is a really inappropriate place for this discussion but to the UK girl who started it all - speak for yourself love. I'm from the UK and I would have found that text really funny. "Romantic" not so much though...

  • 55 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:50pm

    Yea most Europeans are pompous jerks.... but the british accent is hot as hell... but Brittain is still mad about the Revolutionary war where we got everything and they were left with thier hands out asking for more taxes

  • 43 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:09pm

    9:00 nevermind i dont want to start this here. Lots of love to you from Holland. ( :

  • 49 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 12:51pm

    i think this text is sweet, and maybe you europeans could get a life instead of sitting on this website :]

  • 48 57
    Submitted by withheld on Sep 28, 10 at 3:53pm

    Your spectacular hardon makes me touch myself. Like right now

  • 47 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 9:59am

    like stranger in Moscow.... la la la al ..... RIP

  • 49 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:51pm

    How can any of these self-righteous lowlifes really know what it's like to "be American", when they've never lived here. I don't pretend to know what it's like to be British....although, I've heard a lot about your grills over there.... :-S

  • 49 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:20pm

    fuck off or gordon brown will be the one hiding in a cave

  • 48 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 5:52pm

    @12:48 I agree whole-heartedly. These people don't even realize that the declaration of independence was signed on 8/2/1776 and the Constitution signed on 9/17/1787. July 4th my ass.

  • 46 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 7:57pm

    texts like these make me hope the terrorists win

  • 54 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 2:46am

    lol 2:28, you should personally thank 2:40 for further proving your point.

  • 59 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:25pm

    Americans are dirty, men have no respect for weman, girls are sluts. And you call us nazis? ( : hahaha maybe we WERE nazis but you are the one who have ghettos in 2009.

  • 50 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:20pm

    they're just jealous that americans know how to have fun. don't worry about them.

  • 50 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 7:58pm

    I hope the recipient escapes Wisconsin soon and gets back to being loved up in the a.m.!! Before texting, I got phone calls like that and it definitely kept me focused on getting out of there!

  • 43 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:20pm

    Hey now! Let's get back to the meaning of this text.. Will one of you guys please invent a boner that can travel from Afgan/Iraq to the states.. It's really not cool not getting any cuz of war when you're a newly wed...

  • 50 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:53pm

    I think we are too busy enjoying a good morning fuck to care

  • 43 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:55pm

    Did we learn nothing from Michael Jackson??? It doesnt matter if you're black or white. Lets all have a group hug and embrace the morning wood......

  • 47 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:56pm

    What started out as a simple "Man, I've got a raging boner this morning" turned into WWIII. I always figured this would happen....

  • 51 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:03pm

    8:49 #2 --- what makes you think we give two shits about what anyone in holland thinks? you say that like it's vital to our survival. ohhhhhhhh no! what will i do now?

  • 55 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:53pm

    haha i didnt know so much europians visit this dirty american site ( : fuck US, St. Petersburg's the best!

  • 51 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:44pm

    8:38 Yes, it is a continent. I meant to say "speak for your entire nation," but the message should still be clear enough.

  • 43 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:04pm

    yeah, 10:38, which is why i don't know why they're being a bunch of prudes and calling us slutty instead of just laughing at it.

  • 49 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:02pm

    this is the deepest discussion stemming from morning wood I have ever seen!

  • 48 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:19pm

    all i have to say is that i'm American and i love it and i don't give 2 shits whether these prude people like me or not.

  • 49 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:35am

    Sounds like some of us americans need to do a little research on WWII. If it weren't for soviet support the allies would have lost the war. The euros don't have us to thank nor do we have them to thank. Without the russians we'd be living in nazi america right now. So try and get your shit straight before arguing false idiotic points. It makes us look bad....or I should say, worse.

  • 51 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 3:38am

    youre a fucking loser 2:28 for taking your time to tell us we're wasting our time. let us waste our time and have fun arguing about which country/continent is better.

  • 45 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:12pm

    10:03 say hi to your slutty famely

  • 46 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:54pm

    The only problem I ever have with it is trying to piss after I get out of bed. If it won't go away, I either have to just jerk it first, stand in the shower or, if I'm feeling really bold, brace myself on the wall and counter and lean forward to line up the shot.

  • 51 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:21am

    Why is there a big fight over Europeans vs. Americans? People from one country or one continent are still individuals.

  • 50 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:14pm

    Family*, and thanks I will

  • 48 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:03pm

    Idgaf about Europe, your whole continent smells like piss And thank you, 9 25, for calling me, my mom, and my little cousin of 14 years of age sluts, I feel the love

  • 57 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:32pm

    no need to trash us. you could simply say you don't like us. no need for name-calling.

  • 46 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:15pm

    Right, because no European woman enjoys waking up to find her boyfriend has a raging erection. Way to lump the myriad voices of your country to fit your own delusions of national grandeur, you wanker.

  • 47 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:48pm

    Haha, might as well be able to reach that far.

  • 46 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 9:19am

    damn...this conversation is a buzz kill.

  • 48 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:52pm

    EOE is a crock though. It's too easy to get around.

  • 44 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:00pm

    I don't give a rat's ass about Eurotrash or Ameriwhores, but I love me some morning wood!!! I'm married, so it's not slutty. ;)

  • 50 70
    Submitted by jltc on May 22, 11 at 12:51pm

    How did this discussion happen?

  • 44 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 8:51pm

    wow. I just typed a long ass thing and there was an error. fuck you tfln

  • 45 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 2:28am

    Everybody knows that they're fucking idiots right? Fighting for their countries and their historical standings on a post about morning wood. Keep livin' the dream guys.

  • 46 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:48pm

    hate on America all you want, but don't act like you know us, from my experience the exchange students from Europe were always the sluttiest girls at the school

  • 45 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:37pm

    fuck yeah canada. i love my country.

  • 47 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:21pm

    People aren't directly forced to stay, 10 PM, not like in Nazi territories. The facts that EOE is an easily faked term and lawyers like to get paid for their services make it harder than it should be. But some people just give up on trying or think the world owes them a living. And I used to be homeless, so I do know what I'm saying.

  • 48 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 7:12pm

    me toooo 7:01! morning wood is the best!

  • 44 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:49pm

    the worst is when you have superwood laying on your stomach while you sleep. it makes your dick feel like it's about to pop.

  • 49 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:20pm

    im canadian and i <3 americans!

  • 48 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:35pm

    See, that sort of thing is why so many Americans think Europeans are pompous pricks. Those of you who try to speak for the entire nation assume that the rest of your countrymen share your sweeping negative generalization of us, which is based on your extremely minimal -- and likely biased -- interaction with us.

  • 47 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:18pm

    the U.K. sounds kinda boring

  • 46 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 5:59pm

    ugh all the euros on here need to settle down. guarantee half of them saying shit about us have never even been here.

  • 47 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 5:27am

    I'm from the UK and I love getting texts like that from the guys I'm dating!

  • 44 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:50am

    we didn't start the fire. it was always burning, since the world's been turning.

  • 45 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:43am

    can't we all just get along?

  • 46 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:49pm

    I live in Holland and we most of us dont like Americans, and i'm not just saying that. Maybe some of us just dont care but most ppl here dont like you.

  • 40 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 7:15pm

    agreed 5:59, i feel like they only know what they see on television, the ridiculous things that go on here, but i assure you that most americans also find those same things to be ridiculous

  • 44 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 9:03am

    5.00, 5.27; agreed. We are not all prudes with no sense of humour, thank you VERY much.

  • 45 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:49am

    Dude. When did this turn into a flame war??? Let's all just appreciate the beauty of morning wood and those who partake in enjoying it, ummmmkay???

  • 47 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:54pm

    You all need to get over yourselves. This is about a hard on. Not some fight about what country is better. The world is going down the shitter. get over it.

  • 46 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 7:01pm

    6:37, I would also love this text from my bf! :) I think it's hot.

  • 46 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:47pm

    6:45, do you think it could reach me here in texas? sounds yummy ;)

  • 49 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:36pm

    hahahaha i cant belive you guys talk about 2 world war when the text is about a hard american dick

  • 46 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:28pm

    I'm from Germany and i agree with the UK girl. Maybe we just dont get you but for us Americans are gross people. Girls=sluts. Guys=stupid.

  • 44 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:26pm

    ahahahaha I love this.

  • 47 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:37pm

    Yes 6:37, sad indeed.

  • 41 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:09pm

    HAHAHAHAHA 9:09. gotta love an anonymous cyber-hardass.

  • 42 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 4:19am

    I CUM RED, WHITE, AND BLUE.... I should probably see a doctor about that

  • 41 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:15am

    We didn't start the flame war.

  • 47 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:36pm

    Im american and i love europe, when i was in europe last summer no one told me they hated americans they just said they hated Bush...

  • 45 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:29pm

    yeah and european people don't shower. and british people have disgusting teeth. aren't stereotypes fun?!

  • 44 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:38pm

    Ummm, Europe = continent, not country.

  • 57 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 3, 09 at 10:34pm

    hahaha, reppin' minnesota with morning wood.

  • 43 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:48pm

    9:29 you are not good enogh for us to hate you, we just dont like you. And most of those texts dont even talk about drunk nights or whatever, they just show how dumb you are and thats funny.

  • 51 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:45pm

    My occassional morning uberwoods are kinda scary. I'm 6'3" and the entire head sits well above my navel when I'm laying down.

  • 45 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:45am

    all this because a lonely, horny, depressed chick from the UK took her frustration out on some americans.

  • 37 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:22pm

    AMERICA FUCKING RULES that is all

  • 44 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:36am

    I hate morning sex. It's the least pleasurable time to have sex.

  • 36 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:22pm

    Oh yeah.. And stfu you pos euros.. Who always bails you out of wars.. AMERICAN SOLDIERS?! We should have let you all die in Hitler's ghettos.

  • 53 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:05pm

    All you cunts wishing for this text from your BFs are stupid twits. Like it's cute or romantic, you're all pathetic jokes of women. In the U.K. this could never be construed as that. Fucking americans.

  • 41 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:02am

    at least we have nice teeth and that does sound like quite spectacular... if only it could've reached

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 12:29am

    canada just so happens to rule :) and we helped win WWI and WWII

  • 38 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 9:39am

    4:19 so you are Russian then? ( :

  • 38 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:57am

    Getting a sexy text from your boyfriend and liking it doesn't make you a slut....in USA or Europe. You guys are no fun!

  • 40 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:47pm

    LET'S GET SOUR ON SOME KRAUTS!!

  • 45 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:31pm

    Did you know that supersized morning wood growth spurts have a whole day's worth of self esteem? Remember to thank your penis and give it a hand in the morning.

  • 40 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:55am

    12:45-I don't think she was lonely and all that shit. She just hates the U.S. and something set her off. It is pretty stupid how many girls stated they thought the text was so sute and romantic. I kind of understand, we're a bit of a joke as a society. I think when the german dude jumped in that's when the shit hit the fan. Ah well, people like to argue.

  • 34 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:51pm

    11:36 ofcourse they didnt tell you they dont like americans - 'cuz you're american. you were just too american to understand that.

  • 40 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:49pm

    "Ghetto" doesn't mean what it did in Nazi Germany, at least not in America. The government isn't forcing people into or to stay in them. Some people are born into bad conditions, but if they can afford to get out, they're allowed to do so.

  • 39 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:40pm

    It's sexy AND romantic

  • 48 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 7:28pm

    7:22 - sucks if you don't have someone to take care of it for you... I never let that go to waste ;)

  • 42 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 7:34pm

    I agree with 7:28.... morning sex makes my day

  • 53 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 5:43am

    Is it wrong that the first thing I thought when I read this was "awww"? hahah

  • 36 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:43pm

    i just found the page "ijustwanttotellyou" good twist on these kinda places

  • 50 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:17pm

    i'm proud to be an American.....

  • 39 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 2:07am

    1:36, why do you find it to be so? to each his own, but i'm seriously curious.

  • 40 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 7:53pm

    i would so love my bf even more if i got that text message! altho i dont know if there is room to love him more! :)

  • 41 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 8:52pm

    I'm American, but without Hitler attacking the USSR, allies were fucked. The Red Army through millions of bodies at Germany and that was what won the war.

  • 37 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 11:23am

    10:51 i think you have to re-read the history of 2WW. I am sure you saw a lot of very good films about the courage of americans but try to see the real picture and not the one they show your fat ass dumb slutty american mind in Steven Spielberg films. And go with your friends to Mcdonalds to talk about it.

  • 32 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 3:47am

    I think everyone is missing the point here......

  • 39 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:49pm

    Rite! N hoo givs a fuk abowt speling? Hoo our ewe two tell mi hau two spel?! Ewe putt ewes n ease n da midull of erry werd! ^Gigantic Load of Sarcasm^

  • 38 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 7:50pm

    Why can't my bf send me a text like this?

  • 46 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:42pm

    Fuck off weinerschintzel....Your fucking language sounds like a retarded german shepherd.

  • 34 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 8:10pm

    7:57, that is absolutely disgusting.

  • 36 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 2:28pm

    The UK did almost nothing, 11.56? Do you want to tell that to the families of the nearly half a million UK citizens killed in WWII? Yes, America helped the allies win but show some fucking respect.

  • 32 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:03am

    I'M AN AMERICAN AND I DON'T MIND SAYING THAT I LIKE GETTING DIRTY TEXTS! HELL YEAH!

  • 29 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 7:44pm

    The declaration of independence may have been signed on August 2nd, but it was in fact declared and printed on July 4th, 1776. moron.