Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm really busy with my period
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