after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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