Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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