What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
