guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
