I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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