you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
