two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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