She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
