So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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