he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
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So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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