I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
