just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
is it fun? or sober?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
