Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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