you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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