I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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