that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
