Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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