I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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