Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
