Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
