Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
