Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
