To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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