Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Enjoy the penises
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize