you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
