Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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