i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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