Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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