I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
