From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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