Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize