we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
