He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
