sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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