It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize