im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
