I must be too annoying 4 u.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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