if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I puked a lego.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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