It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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