You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
