People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
