capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Randomize
