I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
