she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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