you would pick up someone in the library
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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