yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
