Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
no you cant smoke seaweed
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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