a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
