The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Farmville is her only friend.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
