you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
