That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
