So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
