Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
