I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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