At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
