oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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