We're facebook friends in real life
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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