This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
