i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Enjoy the penises
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
