he looks like a really good dad on facebook
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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