i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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