It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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