Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
