is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This house was built for laser tag.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
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There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
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Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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